Hi,
Fluffy here.
It's Monday...... I ain't gonna lie, I was dreading waking up this morning BUT, I did and it felt good to do ChaLEAN.
I am still feel like this is a waste of time, I hate feeling this way because I have felt good the last couple of weeks. The reason for discouragement is that I have eaten good for 4 weeks and wouldn't ya know it, the scale STILL does not register. I am feeling very discouraged, I can't stop wondering.....what in the HELL did you weigh? I am doing my best to stay positive, but I feel it gets harder and harder! Shouldn't it get easier and easier? I don't know, just one of those days I think. Monday's always get me down.
I will end now instead of continuing to be a Debbie Downer.
TTFN, I will try posting a few times in the up coming weeks but I am covering for another at work and I am afraid that the next two weeks, actually 3 weeks before I leave for the cabin are going to be very chaotic
Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
.............This is only a TEST
Well,
Two days have gone by, I am still eating ok, and I have gotten up for 5 days, count them people, 5 days to exercise! HUGE, HUGE pat on the back for me!
I think that the universe is testing me though...........here are my reasons.
#1- Wednesday night I did not sleep a wink...well, I think I slept but it didn't feel like it. I was hot, my body hurt, I had a little red head in my bed that was kicking and talking in her sleep all night. So, needless to say, when 6:00 am came, I was not excited to get up.
#2- After getting up from my not so fun night, I went downstairs, turned on the TV, hu?....There was no power. Turned on the DVD player....there was no power. Immediately, I started to panic! Thinking...NO!, NO!, Tyler took my extension cord! Crap (wasn't saying crap, BTW), started crying, started telling myself to just go back upstairs to bed, this is ridiculous! Why?, Why? Why?...poor me, why doesn't anything work out, blah, blah, blah.....SNAP OUT OF IT FATTY!!, find out what is wrong! So....I followed the cord from the TV and the DVD...both plugged in, ok...now what. I followed the cord that they were plugged into, followed it into the other room (mind you...our basement is so full of S@*T that I cannot move without fear of killing myself)...anyway, followed it into the other room, followed it past the furnace, past the washer and dryer, back in the GD room that I was already in....hmmm......it is plugged in. NOW I AM PISSED....what the HELL his going on (felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation)...like I have time for this! I am already sweating like I did the effin workout! Again I say to myself, "just go back upstairs and go to bed" (this is how my mind works), so, I stood there for a minute (like that is going to help) and then figured, time to call the hubby. Called Jason down stairs, he took one look at the humongous plug that had everything jammed into it, unplugged one cord, plugged it back in, and viola....power to the TV and DVD. Whatever!!!!
I did the workout, proud of myself for not giving up!
#3- Boy, I am one pissy girl today (Thurs), I am tired, I have a headache, I am starving, I am craving something but cannot figure it out, water tastes gross, but I continue to drink a TON.... Oooh, I feel so gross, bloated, pants feel tight! Wait a minute...you have only gone pee one time today, WTH? So discouraged! Again that little devil Carrie on my shoulder whispered in my ear "why are you doing this, nothing is ever going to change, just go eat something that will make you happy"....(I eat for every emotion)...but, I did not. I grabbed my celery and peanut butter and chawed on that!
When I left work, my friend Jen said "you look, tired", and I said " I am, I don't want to go home and cook, I have a headache, I don't know what is wrong, I just feel blah". OK, well, here is the kicker......AUNT FREAKING FLOW paid me a visit that night..GRRRRRR! She has stayed away since NOVEMBER but decides to appear just in time for me to start an exercise program and eating better? Again I say.......WHATEVER!!!
#4- Finally, FRIDAY....I got up, YAY me! Did the workout, again, cardio today, which discourages me a little because I cannot keep up, but...I did it, that is, until the last 5 minutes..What, what is happening, green, red, yellow stripes all over the damn TV screen, cannot see anything that is on the TV. POUND, POUND, HIT, HIT, nothing...WHAT!!!! Holy SHITaki MUSHROOMS, how am I supposed to do the rest of this.......(little voice), oh, just quit.....no need to to the RECHARGE! I was so upset, crying (again), sweating like a pig, frustrated....BUT, never fear, upstairs is there! Instead of giving up, I AGAIN figured it out, went upstairs and finished the workout.
There....my reasons I feel the universe is against me! I am constantly asking "why me", but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I need to get over it and do what I need to do.
I now have SAT and SUN to enjoy! After 5 days of getting up, doing the workouts, I do feel great and I have more energy to do those thing around my house that I should be doing.
Thank you for all of your kind words and as always............Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Two days have gone by, I am still eating ok, and I have gotten up for 5 days, count them people, 5 days to exercise! HUGE, HUGE pat on the back for me!
I think that the universe is testing me though...........here are my reasons.
#1- Wednesday night I did not sleep a wink...well, I think I slept but it didn't feel like it. I was hot, my body hurt, I had a little red head in my bed that was kicking and talking in her sleep all night. So, needless to say, when 6:00 am came, I was not excited to get up.
#2- After getting up from my not so fun night, I went downstairs, turned on the TV, hu?....There was no power. Turned on the DVD player....there was no power. Immediately, I started to panic! Thinking...NO!, NO!, Tyler took my extension cord! Crap (wasn't saying crap, BTW), started crying, started telling myself to just go back upstairs to bed, this is ridiculous! Why?, Why? Why?...poor me, why doesn't anything work out, blah, blah, blah.....SNAP OUT OF IT FATTY!!, find out what is wrong! So....I followed the cord from the TV and the DVD...both plugged in, ok...now what. I followed the cord that they were plugged into, followed it into the other room (mind you...our basement is so full of S@*T that I cannot move without fear of killing myself)...anyway, followed it into the other room, followed it past the furnace, past the washer and dryer, back in the GD room that I was already in....hmmm......it is plugged in. NOW I AM PISSED....what the HELL his going on (felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation)...like I have time for this! I am already sweating like I did the effin workout! Again I say to myself, "just go back upstairs and go to bed" (this is how my mind works), so, I stood there for a minute (like that is going to help) and then figured, time to call the hubby. Called Jason down stairs, he took one look at the humongous plug that had everything jammed into it, unplugged one cord, plugged it back in, and viola....power to the TV and DVD. Whatever!!!!
I did the workout, proud of myself for not giving up!
#3- Boy, I am one pissy girl today (Thurs), I am tired, I have a headache, I am starving, I am craving something but cannot figure it out, water tastes gross, but I continue to drink a TON.... Oooh, I feel so gross, bloated, pants feel tight! Wait a minute...you have only gone pee one time today, WTH? So discouraged! Again that little devil Carrie on my shoulder whispered in my ear "why are you doing this, nothing is ever going to change, just go eat something that will make you happy"....(I eat for every emotion)...but, I did not. I grabbed my celery and peanut butter and chawed on that!
When I left work, my friend Jen said "you look, tired", and I said " I am, I don't want to go home and cook, I have a headache, I don't know what is wrong, I just feel blah". OK, well, here is the kicker......AUNT FREAKING FLOW paid me a visit that night..GRRRRRR! She has stayed away since NOVEMBER but decides to appear just in time for me to start an exercise program and eating better? Again I say.......WHATEVER!!!
#4- Finally, FRIDAY....I got up, YAY me! Did the workout, again, cardio today, which discourages me a little because I cannot keep up, but...I did it, that is, until the last 5 minutes..What, what is happening, green, red, yellow stripes all over the damn TV screen, cannot see anything that is on the TV. POUND, POUND, HIT, HIT, nothing...WHAT!!!! Holy SHITaki MUSHROOMS, how am I supposed to do the rest of this.......(little voice), oh, just quit.....no need to to the RECHARGE! I was so upset, crying (again), sweating like a pig, frustrated....BUT, never fear, upstairs is there! Instead of giving up, I AGAIN figured it out, went upstairs and finished the workout.
There....my reasons I feel the universe is against me! I am constantly asking "why me", but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I need to get over it and do what I need to do.
I now have SAT and SUN to enjoy! After 5 days of getting up, doing the workouts, I do feel great and I have more energy to do those thing around my house that I should be doing.
Thank you for all of your kind words and as always............Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Howdy........
Hi Again!
I really must say that I wish the BLOG would post most recent first but oh well.
Today is Wednesday, and other than having my A@# kicked by ChaLEAN this morning, it is a good day.
I must admit that I did NOT want to wake up today and do the DVD, I was really tired, not sure why, I have been to bed before 10:30 pm for 3 nights! And that is a ginormous accomplishment, I am a night owl...I would stay up till 1:00 am or 2 just watching TV, but.........you know what else I was doing? I was eating! I couldn't wait for the fam to go to bed so I could have "my" time, which meant watching TV and eating...what more can I say? That made me happy. So, going to bed at a decent time has helped so much with my nightie night snacks.
Anyway....getting back to not wanting to wake up....well, in my head I seriously (and this is how messed up I am) was telling myself, "just do it tonight, just do it tomorrow, blah, blah, blah" I am probably the best at talking myself out of good things, so...I did sleep in for 15 minutes longer BUT, I did get up and do the Cardio and Abs today, and although I stopped a lot, I feel like I did my best and that is all that I can ask of myself...right?.
Another part of my routine that I am incorporating is instead of just sitting at night when I get home from work, I am trying (so sick of the word "trying"), I mean I am doing 2 loads of laundry before I go to bed. I also make sure the house is picked up before bed too.
I think it is sad that I got to a point that I was embarrassed for my kids and hubby to see me sit all evening, I don't want them to be lazy. And I think there is a time and a place for laziness but being a mom does not allow for that! (we all know that is not reality, but we can try : ) )
I am very embarrassed to say, that I really didn't care what was for dinner, didn't even know what laundry was piling up, etc, etc....so many things I just let go. Thank goodness for a wonderful wonderful son who cleans when he gets board and for a husband that is patient and would do the laundry if needed, wheww!
So, I am making changes slowly, baby steps, baby steps right? It is only the 3rd day that I have exercised, but I will keep it up the best that I can because it does give me more energy to do those things at night instead of using the excuse "I'm tired!"
I will say goodbye for now.
Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
I really must say that I wish the BLOG would post most recent first but oh well.
Today is Wednesday, and other than having my A@# kicked by ChaLEAN this morning, it is a good day.
I must admit that I did NOT want to wake up today and do the DVD, I was really tired, not sure why, I have been to bed before 10:30 pm for 3 nights! And that is a ginormous accomplishment, I am a night owl...I would stay up till 1:00 am or 2 just watching TV, but.........you know what else I was doing? I was eating! I couldn't wait for the fam to go to bed so I could have "my" time, which meant watching TV and eating...what more can I say? That made me happy. So, going to bed at a decent time has helped so much with my nightie night snacks.
Anyway....getting back to not wanting to wake up....well, in my head I seriously (and this is how messed up I am) was telling myself, "just do it tonight, just do it tomorrow, blah, blah, blah" I am probably the best at talking myself out of good things, so...I did sleep in for 15 minutes longer BUT, I did get up and do the Cardio and Abs today, and although I stopped a lot, I feel like I did my best and that is all that I can ask of myself...right?.
Another part of my routine that I am incorporating is instead of just sitting at night when I get home from work, I am trying (so sick of the word "trying"), I mean I am doing 2 loads of laundry before I go to bed. I also make sure the house is picked up before bed too.
I think it is sad that I got to a point that I was embarrassed for my kids and hubby to see me sit all evening, I don't want them to be lazy. And I think there is a time and a place for laziness but being a mom does not allow for that! (we all know that is not reality, but we can try : ) )
I am very embarrassed to say, that I really didn't care what was for dinner, didn't even know what laundry was piling up, etc, etc....so many things I just let go. Thank goodness for a wonderful wonderful son who cleans when he gets board and for a husband that is patient and would do the laundry if needed, wheww!
So, I am making changes slowly, baby steps, baby steps right? It is only the 3rd day that I have exercised, but I will keep it up the best that I can because it does give me more energy to do those things at night instead of using the excuse "I'm tired!"
I will say goodbye for now.
Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Well............it's been a week.
Hi Friends,
Well, actually, none of you are reading this yet because I haven't given out my blog address but soon you will be reading.
I was trying to do this DAILY, but I don't think that is going to happen, but...................I will try.
So, the week has been good, still no McDonald's..............which is a HUGE thing for me. I went to a movie over the weekend and had a little popcorn and a Diet Pepsi but I didn't fret, I knew that I would be cleaning house on Saturday so I could work a little bit of that off.
Saturday, I enjoyed a hot dog and diet coke from Sam's Club, felt a tineee guilty but....I did it and that is that.
Saturday night we enjoyed some BBQ'd steak, potatoes, corn on the cob and some fresh pineapple. I will tell you, I did SPLIT the potato with my daughter, YAY me!
Sunday we honored our wonderful Father's and husbands. The kids and I made daddy French toast for breakfast, I did quite well with my portions, I was proud of myself.
Dinner at my mom's was amazing...wonderful ribs and those of you who like sweet potatoes/yams, will be happy to know that in the potatoes that I chunked and baked, I included those orange yummy things, I experimented and it turned out! The dinner was made even more delicious with lots of veggies, fruit. I did not leave my moms hoping to throw up (which has been the case before), I watched what I did and again...yay me.
After our festivities on Sunday, it was back to reality. I knew that I wanted to start ChaLEAN the next day, and as usual, I procrastinated ALL WEEK and didn't have a thing ready. So, needless to say, those of you who know me also know that I freak out at the mention of exercise. I get all worked up thinking about what I have/don't have and then I talk myself out of even starting a program. So......Sunday night, after having my breakdown, having my sweet hubby tell me that I can do this, and getting my shiz together, I did the FIT TEST (Holy Shiz......I am out of shape), measured myself and took my pictures (that I will download as soon as I am able), I DID IT, yes...the little Carrie devil on my shoulder whispered at one time...."forget it, just start next week, you have nothing ready" but I swooshed her off of my shoulder and did it.
I must mention too....my nephew Kade slept over and that was a another reason (in my head) to postpone the inevitable because I didn't want to wake up the kids sleeping in the living room, I didn't want him to see me in my exercise clothes, I was up a lot that night worried about our little dog Sammy bugging Kaders, blah, blah, blah....I could come up with a million excuses not to get up in the morning and do it, but I DID!!!!!
Over all, very good weekend, probably could have drank more water, but I did get quite a bit in so I was happy about that.
Monday: Monday came and down to do ChaLEAN I went. I cried the entire 35 minutes, I felt like I couldn't do an exercise right, I didn't know what weights to use, I pretty much stressed myself out but...I made it through, I felt muscle soreness and I felt good!
When I got to work and weighed with my friend, scale still didn't register, which is VERY frustrating and scary to me, but I WILL NOT let it get me down, I will continue weighing and dammit, it will register someday, right? : (
Tuesday: Today was a different part of the program, a bit tougher but I was more relaxed and paying attention to how I was holding my body and I felt more muscles being used, and I feel great!
One day at a time, my wonderful sister and my friend Jen at work are such great support. I have a LLLOOONNNGGG way to go, and I cannot seem to get that out of my head but, I will say it again, ONE DAY AT A TIME! ChaLEAN says don't say you "might" do the program tomorrow, say that you "will" do the program tomorrow and I WILL!!
Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Well, actually, none of you are reading this yet because I haven't given out my blog address but soon you will be reading.
I was trying to do this DAILY, but I don't think that is going to happen, but...................I will try.
So, the week has been good, still no McDonald's..............which is a HUGE thing for me. I went to a movie over the weekend and had a little popcorn and a Diet Pepsi but I didn't fret, I knew that I would be cleaning house on Saturday so I could work a little bit of that off.
Saturday, I enjoyed a hot dog and diet coke from Sam's Club, felt a tineee guilty but....I did it and that is that.
Saturday night we enjoyed some BBQ'd steak, potatoes, corn on the cob and some fresh pineapple. I will tell you, I did SPLIT the potato with my daughter, YAY me!
Sunday we honored our wonderful Father's and husbands. The kids and I made daddy French toast for breakfast, I did quite well with my portions, I was proud of myself.
Dinner at my mom's was amazing...wonderful ribs and those of you who like sweet potatoes/yams, will be happy to know that in the potatoes that I chunked and baked, I included those orange yummy things, I experimented and it turned out! The dinner was made even more delicious with lots of veggies, fruit. I did not leave my moms hoping to throw up (which has been the case before), I watched what I did and again...yay me.
After our festivities on Sunday, it was back to reality. I knew that I wanted to start ChaLEAN the next day, and as usual, I procrastinated ALL WEEK and didn't have a thing ready. So, needless to say, those of you who know me also know that I freak out at the mention of exercise. I get all worked up thinking about what I have/don't have and then I talk myself out of even starting a program. So......Sunday night, after having my breakdown, having my sweet hubby tell me that I can do this, and getting my shiz together, I did the FIT TEST (Holy Shiz......I am out of shape), measured myself and took my pictures (that I will download as soon as I am able), I DID IT, yes...the little Carrie devil on my shoulder whispered at one time...."forget it, just start next week, you have nothing ready" but I swooshed her off of my shoulder and did it.
I must mention too....my nephew Kade slept over and that was a another reason (in my head) to postpone the inevitable because I didn't want to wake up the kids sleeping in the living room, I didn't want him to see me in my exercise clothes, I was up a lot that night worried about our little dog Sammy bugging Kaders, blah, blah, blah....I could come up with a million excuses not to get up in the morning and do it, but I DID!!!!!
Over all, very good weekend, probably could have drank more water, but I did get quite a bit in so I was happy about that.
Monday: Monday came and down to do ChaLEAN I went. I cried the entire 35 minutes, I felt like I couldn't do an exercise right, I didn't know what weights to use, I pretty much stressed myself out but...I made it through, I felt muscle soreness and I felt good!
When I got to work and weighed with my friend, scale still didn't register, which is VERY frustrating and scary to me, but I WILL NOT let it get me down, I will continue weighing and dammit, it will register someday, right? : (
Tuesday: Today was a different part of the program, a bit tougher but I was more relaxed and paying attention to how I was holding my body and I felt more muscles being used, and I feel great!
One day at a time, my wonderful sister and my friend Jen at work are such great support. I have a LLLOOONNNGGG way to go, and I cannot seem to get that out of my head but, I will say it again, ONE DAY AT A TIME! ChaLEAN says don't say you "might" do the program tomorrow, say that you "will" do the program tomorrow and I WILL!!
Thanks for reading!
Fluffy
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Another Day...........
Well.......I started my BLOG yesterday so I feel I should update daily (when time permits).
Please keep in mind...ChaLEAN won't start until Monday the 20th so no reports on that part of the "journey" but there are other parts of the journey that I want to make note of.
One big step (in my opinion) was that I had to pick up Mcee Dee's for the chillens today, well, I didn't HAVE to but it was one of those mornings! Now, if anybody knows me and my history with McDonald's and my morning Diet Coke, will know that for me to pass up getting ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY a Diet Coke is a big thing. Well, I didn't get a Diet Coke, nor did I get any breakfast items.....I was this close, but I talked myself out of it and I must say....having to account for it on this BLOG helped.
I was extremely proud of myself. I came to work, grabbed my grapes and my Tillamook cheese and filled my water bottle.
So... that is day 2 of whatever this is to become. May not seem like a big deal to some, but for ME it was a GIANT STEP towards what I am HOPING to accomplish.
TTFN............Fluffy Bear!♥
Please keep in mind...ChaLEAN won't start until Monday the 20th so no reports on that part of the "journey" but there are other parts of the journey that I want to make note of.
One big step (in my opinion) was that I had to pick up Mcee Dee's for the chillens today, well, I didn't HAVE to but it was one of those mornings! Now, if anybody knows me and my history with McDonald's and my morning Diet Coke, will know that for me to pass up getting ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY a Diet Coke is a big thing. Well, I didn't get a Diet Coke, nor did I get any breakfast items.....I was this close, but I talked myself out of it and I must say....having to account for it on this BLOG helped.
I was extremely proud of myself. I came to work, grabbed my grapes and my Tillamook cheese and filled my water bottle.
So... that is day 2 of whatever this is to become. May not seem like a big deal to some, but for ME it was a GIANT STEP towards what I am HOPING to accomplish.
TTFN............Fluffy Bear!♥
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Here goes nothing...............
I am scared and excited as I begin this journey.
I used to think that people who do this kind of shiz were silly! "Why put it out there for everybody to see?", I would think, well now I believe I know why some may BLOG about journeys they take it their life...some may do it to brag, some may do it for show, but I, I am doing it for accountability.
I started weighing with my friend Jenny at work, on 6/6/2011, the scale did not even register, which means,....... I weigh OVER 330 lbs..
On 6/13/2011, the scale didn't show an E for error, it registered something, but not a weight. How pathetic, and how embarrassing is that?
So that was the day, the day I decided I needed to change.
Since 6/6/11, I had been eating so much better, drinking a ton of water, cutting out pop, and trying to avoid the E word (exercise)...........I HATE EXERCISE!!!!
BUT, on 6/13/11, I decided to start asking my beautiful sister about her plan. ChaLEAN...and for the first time I got excited. She let me borrow her "stuff" I printed out things, Tyler (my son) and I are going to start measuring and taking pictures of ourselves and we are going to take ChaLEAN's fit test.
Come Monday.....I, and hopefully my handsome son Ty, will begin the 3 month workout.
Posting some pics along the way of course.
I will post some of my pictures and let you know how I am feeling.
I used to think that people who do this kind of shiz were silly! "Why put it out there for everybody to see?", I would think, well now I believe I know why some may BLOG about journeys they take it their life...some may do it to brag, some may do it for show, but I, I am doing it for accountability.
I started weighing with my friend Jenny at work, on 6/6/2011, the scale did not even register, which means,....... I weigh OVER 330 lbs..
On 6/13/2011, the scale didn't show an E for error, it registered something, but not a weight. How pathetic, and how embarrassing is that?
So that was the day, the day I decided I needed to change.
Since 6/6/11, I had been eating so much better, drinking a ton of water, cutting out pop, and trying to avoid the E word (exercise)...........I HATE EXERCISE!!!!
BUT, on 6/13/11, I decided to start asking my beautiful sister about her plan. ChaLEAN...and for the first time I got excited. She let me borrow her "stuff" I printed out things, Tyler (my son) and I are going to start measuring and taking pictures of ourselves and we are going to take ChaLEAN's fit test.
Come Monday.....I, and hopefully my handsome son Ty, will begin the 3 month workout.
Posting some pics along the way of course.
I will post some of my pictures and let you know how I am feeling.
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